You know you're a triathlete when....
When asked, how old you are you answer 20-24.
Your traning is more limited by available time then how far you can run.
Your first thought when you wake up is how high your rest HR is.
You think it's natural to do your 'business' behind a tree in the woods.
You take part in the corporate challenge to improve your base speed.
You go for a 5 km cooldown run after a 5 km race just so that you cancall it a training session.
You consider work, regeneration time between training sessions.
That something hard between your legs is usually a pull buoy
You have a water bottle when you drive your car.
You've forgotten how to drink out of cups.
You spend your 2 weeks annual vacation at a training camp.
You know inside out how much Protein each energy bar has.
You seriously consider applying for citizenship in Tonga, Jemen orTschad so that you can participate in the olympic games.
When people praising you for being able to run 15 miles you're feeling insulted.
In the summer your legs are smoother than your girlfriend's.
In the winter your legs are still smoother than your girlfriend's
You need a picture for a job application and you only have race pictures.
You use running T-shirts to clean your bike.
That charming "cologne" you wear to work is chlorine
You take more showers in a locker room than at home
6:30 am is sleeping in
the dog runs and hides when you get the leash!
You think there are only two seasons during the year, racing and off.
You shave way too many body parts for a guy.
You can't change the oil in your car but you can completly rebuildyour bike in 45 mins
You spend more cash on training and racing clothes then work clothes
You spend 7 days going to 8 stores in 4 towns before buying a pair ofrunning shoes but you take 1 afternoon to go to 1 car dealership andwalk out with a new car 4 hours later.
when you see some lady watering her flowers and ask her if you canborrow the hose for a minute so you can fill up your water bottles.
You clean your bike more often than your car
You've been stung be a wasp or bee in your mouth but carried onrunning or cycling because "your split times won't go down bythemselves"
Your car smells like a locker room.
You have everything needed in your car to be Swimming, Biking orRunning with 5 minutes notice.
When asked to mow the lawn in 90 degree heat, you say that its too hotto do that (and you mean it) and then an hour later you go on acentury ride because its so nice out.
You tell your co-workers that you are going to "do a long brick" onsaturday and just expect that they know what you are talking about.
When a co-worker asks if you are racing this weekend, you say "yeah,but I'm just running a 10k, so that is not REALLY a race".
You consider you bike saddle your "couch"
You consider Clif Bars as one of the four food groups
you are sick to your stomach at 2:00 in the morning and check the backof the Pepto Bismol bottle for caloric content and grams ofcarbohydrates, fat and protein.
you have plenty of water bottles, safety pins, and t-shirts.
You like going swimming the day after a race with the permenant pennednumber still visible on your legs and arms because the feel like amedal.
you have trouble keeping lunch under 2000 calories.
you usually wake up at 4:00 in the morning but do not get to workuntil way after 9:00.
you have a ￡4000 bike strapped on top of your ￡2000 car.
you have no trouble pushing a day's caloric intake to over 8000 calories.
you're always wet! Either sweat water, pool water, sea water, showerwater, bath water or its p*****g down outside!
Instead of Marie Clare, People and Cosmo, you have piles of Runner'sWorld in your bathroom.
your car has at least one Power Bar wrapper and two sets of work out clothes!
your kids idea of playing is a bike and run race followed by powerbars, water bottles and awards ceremony. your laundry continually smells like someone locked the cat in overnight...
you leave your apartment or house in the morning with your swim bag onone arm, bike on one shoulder, a change of clothes in another bag, andyour running stuff in another bag in case you can get away at lunchfor a workout.
you wave at other cyclists, because all triathletes are friendly andif they are not, they are probably purist cyclists trying to get intotriathlons and they do not know that triathletes are friendly.
You have not one, not two, but three permanent chain ring scars onyour right calf.
You are walking along a street and you signal left.
you can't decide what tee shirt to wear to your next race.
you have far more pairs of shoes in your closet than your non-tri wifedoes in hers
the one "suit" you own has orca written on the chest.
You wear your heart rate monitor during sex....
...and you keep within the right HR zone
you hear T2 and don't think of the film....
when "foreplay" is 15 minutes on a turbo trainer
your living room has the "swim pile" and the "bike pile" and the "runpile" and the "weight room pile" and you pick and choose kind of likea cafeteria on your way out the door.
your kitchen cupboards are organized into "protein", "carbs" and "etc"
you bring bottled water to a party so that you're properly hydratedfor the next morning's long run, everyone else at the party alsobrought their own bottled water because you don't have a social lifeoutside of triathlon.
Oh yeah, and they all showed up by 7pm and leftby 10pm.
your company announces mandatory unpaid shutdown days - every otherFriday thoughout the summer - in order to cut costs and stay inbusiness, and your response is "Great - now I can do two long workoutson the weekends and still have an easy day." ......but you dont!
your 8 year old comes home with the school record for the mile andsays, he took it out in a nice pace he could hold.....everyone elsedied.
you fill your kids' water bottles with Cytomax instead of blue gatorade.
you can ask your mom and your sister and all other girlfriends forshaving advice. no wait, they ask you for advice!
you say that you went to a race last weekend...and somebody responds"running or biking" and you are again forced to explain....
you wear your bathing suit under your work clothes to make a fasttransition from work to swim on your lunch hour.
you show up at the neighborhood pool on your bike in a speedo andembarrass your teenage daughters.
Your idea of fast food is a power bar and SIS Go
somebody hands you a cup of water and you have to restrain yourselffrom pouring it on your head.
You catch yourself about to blow a snot rocket while walking around the office.
you forget that talking about daily LSD [Long Slow Distance] and speed weirds some people out.
you have no FRIGGIN idea what to do with yourself on your off day.
You feel like you took the day off because all you did was swim 3000meters then go for a short run.
At any given moment you know exactly where your heart rate monitor andyour swim googles are, but cannot remember where you left you carkeys. (turns out 90% of the time they are in your bike bag)
Ice baths!
When non-racer friends tell you they ran/rode you automatically calculate their pace to see if you're still in better shape.
Cars pass you on the road when you're driving and you either drop backto get out of draft zone or speed up to attack!
You have no trouble converting mph into kmph
You've stopped buying high-heels because your feet are too swollenfrom long runs to fit in them anyways.
While your less athletically-inclined girlfriends are gorging themselves on plates of lettuce, you're occupying yourself with aplate of pasta and chicken (white meat, of course.)
Having a period has become less of a nuisance since menstrual cramps don't feel that bad when you're hunched over a bike.
You've stopped wearing dangly earrings because they just get in theway when you're ripping off your clothes to squeeze "just one more"workout into your already cramped schedule.
Your girlfriends are insanely jealous of your tan legs. Until theyrealize that the tan stops at your bike shorts.
You've given up trying to go on training runs/rides with yourboyfriends because they don't take it too well when you kick theirbutt.
Your best girl friend gets a new bike and tells you that it's a really pretty shade of blue. You get a new bike and can tell her the chainring ratios.
When checking out guys on the street/at the mall your friends notice eyes, hair, build. You notice if they have shaved legs, if they haverunners/bikers legs, and if they're wearing a race t-shirt.
Could be worse, could be raining
